But this is the 1st time I'm rejecting a Christian guy, so I want to be as gentle as possible. I cant just avoid or got MIA like what I've done in the past because I definitely treasure his friendship. Gosh. This is so serious that I gotta google it. Then, I got comforted by this passage:
If there is one thing that regular men do not have to go through as often as women do, it is the constant onslaught of advances coming from members of the opposite sex. This is a social phenomenon that has been occurring for nearly all of humankind; men have been given the duty of courting the women since the caveman days. So women have learned better techniques when handling situations where their male acquaintances express a deeper-than-friend emotional connection. But even with the years and years of experience, I often have my female friends ask me advice on how they can possibly reject the advances, while still saving the friendship and keeping it on a not-awkward status. It is quite difficult to do, but still possible.
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| We're clean. The most he has done so far is to walk me home.. |
Ladies, please keep this in mind: When a guy has decided that he likes you more than a friend, and has expressed it to you, it is very difficult for him to backpedal and pretend like it didn’t happen. It has something to do with his pride. Think about it. How embarrassing is it that this person that you like doesn’t like you in return? It brings about feelings of inadequacy and insecurity. I’m sure these feelings aren’t exclusive to the male gender; everybody has gone through it. Rejection sucks! I’ve been rejected countless times. And in many of those rejections, I’ve been able to remain friends with the person who rejected me. There are a few differences between these rejections when I remained friends with the girl versus when we never talked again.
These are the things that made a difference for me:
1. The girl still wanted to be friends. In order for you to remain friends, you have to actually place an importance on the friendship. If the guy senses that he has become just any other rejection, and feels like he has turned into an annoyance, he will most likely be awkward around you. He might even start avoiding you when he sees you.
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| Just friendship! |
3. The girl gave me time. Ladies, please listen to me. This is the most important tip I have for you. This is the glue that will hold the other tips together. This is the key to remaining friends with a guy after you have rejected him. Once you decide to be friends, and you clearly express it to the guy, you need to give him some time and space so that his feelings will die down. If you do not do this, things could get very ugly. There are several possible outcomes. The guy could continue trying to pursue you, the guy could be depressed every time he is around you, or the guy could cut you off for good once he feels like you are stringing him along. So in order to avoid these things from happening, you need to let the guy have time to calm down, even if it hurts in the meantime to not talk to him.
Conclusion
Look, nothing is perfect, and not every suggested solution will work, but in my past experience, these are the differences between me being friends with a girl after she rejected me, or vice versa. In some instances, emotions may be stronger, and in other instances, guys may not care at all that you reject him and will act normal regardless. It all depends on the type of relationship you have. But one thing is for sure: clear and honest communication is the way to get what you both want from a relationship, whatever type of relationship that is.
What's the biblical way to do this?
What's the biblical way to do this?
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