Monday, April 11, 2011

It's Blossoming..

I remember wanting to reject the Christian guy but I end up accepting all his requests to join him in his activities. Very hard to reject cos' these are activites I like also.. -_-

Because of this, we end up chatting before bedtime every day. He has been very sweet. Plus, we have a 'chaperone' and she is totally in favour of this relationship. Sigh.. is God's will getting clearer or what?

I'm still confused. So, am I supposed to then accept his courtship?

Friday, March 25, 2011

Frustrated @ Work for the 1st time

I am angry with my boss
5 Reasons why you are Unproductive at work!



5 reasons you are unproductive at workYou know there is something wrong in the way you work when, even after being in the office for 9 hours, you haven’t finished much work. You see your colleagues packing up or chilling while you seem on a frenzy to finish work and go home. The result- there are many mistakes and you are stressed out!
Similarly you find yourself always lagging behind your workmates, submitting your work late and looking bad in front of your Boss!! As much as you want to change, you don’t know exactly why you cannot get work done… Relax, we give you 6 reasons why you may be unproductive and ways you can improve and be a more effective worker.

You are Unproductive because-

You have a short attention span-
short attention span is one of the reasons why you are unproductiveYou start your work with enthusiasm, interest and commitment. You even overcome initial difficulties but some time later, your attention wanes, your enthusiasm runs out and you start getting bored. It goes in a downward spiral after that, you struggle to keep yourself interested, you take frequent breaks, switch to other tasks and sometimes even give up the task halfway.
Tip for you: What you need is consistency and ability to sustain your energy and enthusiasm. You need to use your short attention span to your own advantage. Break your work into manageable segments and have goals of finishing one at a time. Once you finish one segment, use the time to work on something else or take a short break. After some time come back to the next segment and work on it till you finish it. This way you will not lose interest and the work will also not suffer.
Remember to manage your time well to take enough small breaks but also get back to work fast. While you are doing one work, give it your entire attention.
You love to Multi task-
You answer the phone while you are typing, you are chatting while you are working in excel and you are handling four projects at a time. But have you noticed the quality of work that is coming out, have you seen the mistakes that are a regular feature of your work? Do you still feel proud about this ability to multitask? Research today shows that multitasking can mar your performance while causing stress. It prevents you from focusing on a single activity and overloads your brain and with so much to process, it makes mistakes and fumbles with the simplest of tasks.
Tip for you: Resist your need to being overtly effective instead pay attention to details. Work on one thing at a time and focus on it. You also need to prioritize and give importance to the tasks that are more important. While on it you must resist yourself from being distracted by mails, chats or the need to surf. This may be difficult at first but will be easy as you work on it and your work will also be done much faster and in a better way.
You are Bored most of the time
Boredom at work is one of the reasons you are unproductiveYou are not stimulated by your work and feel that it is drudgery. Since it is not very appealing to you, you give only half of your best. It is not like you are not responsible or a good worker, it is just that you are not suitable for the work you are doing. Thus you end up being frustrated!

Tip for you: You need to look at what you are doing very seriously, are you doing what you love? Ask yourself if you are doing what you like… if not what is it that you do? Untill you find out, at least be loyal to your work, give your hundred percent. Being bored and working half heartedly is disrespecting your work as well as yourself. Don’t waste your time on being average, either give your best shot or find and follow your passion.

You are not a Planner
You are smart, hard working and committed, your only flaw -you are disorganized and bad at planning. Either you are working very little or working too hard. You are also bad in time management and this lands you in trouble as there are times when you forget important deadlines and meetings!
Tip for you: You simply have to learn management skills, you need to use tools like reminders and planners and organize your style of working. If you find planning to hampering your working style, divide your time between doing constructive work for half the day and creative work the rest of the day.
Set targets for yourself and don’t leave till you complete them. This way even though there is no external pressure, you will always monitor your progress and know what to do next.

You are too comfortable
Being too comfortable is one of the reasons you are unproductive “If you’re comfortable, you’re in a bad place” says a famous quote by Bob Procter. Ask yourself if you are challenging yourself? Or if are you changing, growing, learning along the way? If you feel very comfortable at present and are afraid of changing, you need exactly that- a change.
When we are in our comfort zone and  all our needs are taken care of, there is no challenge, we are losing out on making the entire use of our potential. We may stick to what we are good at but never discover what we are great at. Being content is good but being complacent isn’t! So if you find yourself in a rut, rethink your choices and make a change, you may struggle or even fail but you will be at least learning and growing.
Tip for you: Challenge yourself, get a new project at work and put all your energy into. Discover arenas in your own field which you know nothing about and start learning, learning is the best way to come out of comfort zone and feel energized, be it new software of a new responsibility, it will surely improve you.

With these tips we hope, you overcome your habits and obstacles and be a productive and happy worker!

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

I Love God

"But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you." - Matt 6:33

This verse eludes me sometimes, letting Satan ensnare me with unholy thoughts. I should always remember God first & love Him first. When God occupies my thoughts, unnecessary thoughts will flee from me. God is Love. I love God. Peace, at last. :)


I Love God. :)


Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Give Chance~

Haha.. I'm asked to give chance. So funny.

Another person also said: "How you know he's chasing you? Dun malu k? Wait till he confess den you reject."

Platonic Friendship - possible?












Ya.. I think I over-think. I shall simply enjoy this period of pre-courtship into a relationship & get to know this person as a close friend first. We must open up & chat more as I truly cherish this friendship. It is good that we can go 1 step closer to know each other.

Stop day-dreaming. Stay friends! Close friends! With God, everything is possible. Pray. :)

Monday, March 21, 2011

How to reject a guy gently & still remain friends.

Guess I've decided.

But this is the 1st time I'm rejecting a Christian guy, so I want to be as gentle as possible. I cant just avoid or got MIA like what I've done in the past because I definitely treasure his friendship. Gosh. This is so serious that I gotta google it. Then, I got comforted by this passage:

If there is one thing that regular men do not have to go through as often as women do, it is the constant onslaught of advances coming from members of the opposite sex. This is a social phenomenon that has been occurring for nearly all of humankind; men have been given the duty of courting the women since the caveman days. So women have learned better techniques when handling situations where their male acquaintances express a deeper-than-friend emotional connection. But even with the years and years of experience, I often have my female friends ask me advice on how they can possibly reject the advances, while still saving the friendship and keeping it on a not-awkward status. It is quite difficult to do, but still possible.


We're clean. The most he has
done so far is to walk me home..


Ladies, please keep this in mind: When a guy has decided that he likes you more than a friend, and has expressed it to you, it is very difficult for him to backpedal and pretend like it didn’t happen. It has something to do with his pride. Think about it. How embarrassing is it that this person that you like doesn’t like you in return? It brings about feelings of inadequacy and insecurity. I’m sure these feelings aren’t exclusive to the male gender; everybody has gone through it. Rejection sucks! I’ve been rejected countless times. And in many of those rejections, I’ve been able to remain friends with the person who rejected me. There are a few differences between these rejections when I remained friends with the girl versus when we never talked again.

These are the things that made a difference for me:

1. The girl still wanted to be friends. In order for you to remain friends, you have to actually place an importance on the friendship. If the guy senses that he has become just any other rejection, and feels like he has turned into an annoyance, he will most likely be awkward around you. He might even start avoiding you when he sees you.

Just friendship!
2. The girl clearly communicated that I meant a lot to her. This is how you let the guy know that he isn’t an annoyance. Of course, the only way that the guy will want to be your friend is if he feels that you genuinely WANT the friendship, and you truly care for him, even if he wants a little more right now. If you communicate that you want to be his friend, he should understand. Guys don’t like hints. Guys like it straight, no chaser.

3. The girl gave me time. Ladies, please listen to me. This is the most important tip I have for you. This is the glue that will hold the other tips together. This is the key to remaining friends with a guy after you have rejected him. Once you decide to be friends, and you clearly express it to the guy, you need to give him some time and space so that his feelings will die down. If you do not do this, things could get very ugly. There are several possible outcomes. The guy could continue trying to pursue you, the guy could be depressed every time he is around you, or the guy could cut you off for good once he feels like you are stringing him along. So in order to avoid these things from happening, you need to let the guy have time to calm down, even if it hurts in the meantime to not talk to him.

Conclusion

Look, nothing is perfect, and not every suggested solution will work, but in my past experience, these are the differences between me being friends with a girl after she rejected me, or vice versa.  In some instances, emotions may be stronger, and in other instances, guys may not care at all that you reject him and will act normal regardless.  It all depends on the type of relationship you have.  But one thing is for sure: clear and honest communication is the way to get what you both want from a relationship, whatever type of relationship that is. 

What's the biblical way to do this?

Should I Reject Him?

I think this guy in church is pursuing me. I'm stressed because other than being a Christian, he doesn't have the qualities I look for in a bf/ future husband.

Qualities that stirs me:
1) Christian: He must love God. (tick)
2) He must love me. (tick, I assume)

I'd love to be carried by him ~










3) I must love him (no tick. No chemistry)
4) He must be disciplined. Wakes up early & does his work religiously. (no tick. He seems like the average guy. Not extremely discplined, yet not extremely slack either. But I need him to wake me up & lead me in QT. So this quality is extremely dear to me..)
5) He must be intelligent (no tick)
6) He must be financial stable (no tick)
7) He must be mature & independent (no tick. He's 1 yr younger than me)
8) He must be of same age or older (no tick. See above)

Nb: It doesn't matter if he can sing, play the piano, dance, draw or recite. These are bonus qualities. Not essential ones. I can do the above.

Interesting!
At this point in time. I prefer not to lead him on and simply remain as good friends. He is a nice guy, no doubt. But he hasn't fully mature in thought. He has money issues and needs to defer his studies to work 1st. His family is abit messy. Late-coming dad, non-cooking yet working mum, 2 other young brothers who used to quarrel with him. He's not well-groomed. Sigh.. But this is the 1st Christian guy that ever pursue me. Lord, is he really the one? Really? But I did pray for a Christian guy that is of same age or older.

If I truly don't want to lead him on, or hurt his feelings, please teach me how to reject him. Help me, Lord. :(

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Time control.

God is fair. Everyone gets only 24h a day, n time moves in the same manner for everyone. It never slow down or speed up for anyone. So, those who can control time gets the best out of their life.

I'm a loser I'm controlled by time. I always lose time. I'm always rushing for time. Always late, always angry with ppl who slow me down, always can't get out of bed. This is terrible. I must control time. Be extremely disciplined. Lord, help me. If I can do it, I think this would be the single most life-changing achievement I'd ever make. Amen.

Friday, March 11, 2011

I am not happy.

I know that for a fact because I'm frowning. I seem to lack interest in all that I do. I cant concentrate to do my work at all. I find them repelling. I need to detox my mind. Free it, clean it well before I let more things enter. I feel overwhelmed. My to-do list is accumulating. I need to rest & recharge first. Then, I can find one day to sit down and clear out all my work. Now is not the time. Not today.

Lord, help me.. :(

Panasonic Core Trainer EU7805

I am a couch potato. I think this is useful. Cost: $2688. Should I get it? Been thinking about this for months...

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Be Content.

Indeed, nothing else in this world can ever make you happier than being pleased & at ease with what I already have.

"But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out. And having food and raiment let us therewith content." - 1 Tim 6:6-8

- I have food, I have clothes. I should be contented. :)

"Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have; for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee." - Heb 13:5

- Stop comparing! There is always someone better & stronger than me out there. So what's the point? If I keep comparing, I'll be sucked into a never-ending desire to outperform others; I'll never be happy.

- Watched Absolute Boyfriend (Jap serial) yesterday. This robot is created to love his master. His entire thoughts are focused on how to make his master (gf) happy. As long as she is happy, he is happy. To do that, he doesn't mind working as a cleaner in the same company as her, and he doesn't feel inferior about it. He even has many friends in the company! He will cook and go to lengths to make sure she is taken care of. He will consider her needs and feelings first. Well, he is a robot, so it is not possible for us humans to go to such extremes. But my point is, be happy, be contented & do what I truly like!

- I don't live in other people's mind or mouth. People are usually concerned about themselves. I am but a passerby in a person's life. That person may perceive me as a friend or a competitor. It is up to me to position myself to that person. And of course, I wish to make more friends than enemies or strangers. Hence, I must position myself as someone helpful, kind, caring, considerate, friendly and non-threatening. To be non-threatening, I must first love myself for who I am and be contented. Only then can I have the space in my heart and mind to consider others & think about them.



- Conclusion: Postpone or forsake my plans of doing MBA totally. I must first concentrate on being contented with who I am. And I know I will not be contented until I at least begin to try the things I like e.g. dance, play piano, keep fit, wake up early (disciplined).

From today onwards, I shall only indulge myself in the things I like. Add oil! :)

Friday, February 18, 2011

I Need Girlfriends!

Had a chat with a colleague 3 yrs younger than me.. She's fun-loving, simple-minded and loves to group with her girlfriends many evenings a week to have her massage & manicure sessions. She has no plans for the future nor did she think so far. All she want is to be the best in her job during working hours, and play & totally unwind after working hours..

Out having fun










Sounds fun. Sounds nice. Not the massage & manicure sessions, but the gathering with her girlfriends. I wish I have ever-ready pals that I can call upon anytime, and share everything under the sun. But due to diverse interests, I don't have friends that share same interests with me, or that I can relate to/ count upon. Casual friends don't count. I need those that I can simply dial her number at 2am & pour out my troubles.. I want at least 2 others.. As I go through names & faces in my mind, some qualify, but they cant be put together. Some got married and cant afford to give me the attention/ time I need.. But..

Grooming & Sharing together












All is not lost! I came across a blog that talks about how she finally got her close group of girlfriends after she had children.. So I firmly believe that in time, I will have my girlfriends in my life. I must settle down 1st. Being too fluttery with what I like is not going to get me anywhere.

Dining together once a month..

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Why am I INTP?


I was pondering over the pros & cons of being an introvert and concluded that an extrovert would probably fare better in life. I prefer an 'E'. I'll have more friends this way. I'll get to learn new things and be exposed to much more instead of being cooped up in my own mind. This I don't like. The cooping up, and the lag time taken to react to a group conversation/ express an opinion.

Then, I came across this front cover:



I haven't read the book but I get the message. But then, it led me to think. Why am I an introvert? I don't think it's solely in the genes. It's due to environment, influences and exposure. So.. this means I can convert into an extrovert if I want to push myself along that direction?

I decided that I'll learn to change based on my earlier conclusion that I'll get to learn more by being with others. If I ever take a personality test again, I hope I get a ENTP or something similar. I must develop a liking to conversing with others, and not fear awkward silences/ lack of topic to discuss. I must read more to even manage a monologue if necessary. That's the extra step I need to take to convert to an 'E'. It's a chore, yes. But I'll manage. Let's see. :)

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

INTP Relationships


Well, it is Valentine's Day yesterday & I spent it with my sister... so, what kinda guy am I supposed to look for? I was confused until the passage below lights up a certain part in me. Yeah, it's true. I just like intelligent guys. :)

Intelligent Guy

"INTPs live rich worlds inside their minds, which are full of imagination and excitement. Consequently, they sometimes find the external world pales in comparison. This may result in a lack of motivation to form and maintain relationships. INTPs are not likely to have a very large circle of significant relationships in their lives. They're much more likely to have a few very close relationships, which they hold in great esteem and with great affection.


Since the INTP's primary focus and attention is turned inwards, aimed towards seeking clarity from abstract ideas, they are not naturally tuned into others' emotional feelings and needs. They tend to be difficult to get to know well, and hold back parts of themselves until the other person has proven themselves "worthy" of hearing the INTP's thoughts. Holding Knowledge and Brain Power above all else in importance, the INTP will choose to be around people who they consider to be intelligent. Once the INTP has committed themself to a relationship, they tend to be very faithful and loyal, and form affectionate attachments which are pure and straight-forward. The INTP has no interest or understanding of gameplaying with regards to relationships. However, if something happens which the INTP considers irreconciliable, they will leave the relationship and not look back."

Oh, and this criteria comes in 2nd. First & foremost, he must be a Christian. Not a charismatic Christian. Preferably one who reads the bible & knows God intimately. :)

Nb: I don't consider myself smart. There's nothing intimidating abt me. I live a simple life & have simple requests. Really.

Things I like - My 10 year plan~

These are the activites I like, & hope to accomplish at some point in time...

Dancer (Lyrical Jazz)

              
Horseback Riding
 
    
Artist (Landscape, Portrait, Comic)

Pianist (Church, Classical, Jazz)


Been thinking about doing these for the longest time! Now that I've finally graduated, I'll just have to focus on earning enough to finance these lessons... But then again, maybe I should just go for MBA before starting on these.. hmm.. Just another 2 years of studies.. should be alright.. We'll see.

The Thinker


Female Thinker~
Quite close... I'll find the time to dissect this passage to see how it fits the way I am.. :)

INTPs live in the world of theoretical possibilities. They see everything in terms of how it could be improved, or what it could be turned into. They live primarily inside their own minds, having the ability to analyze difficult problems, identify patterns, and come up with logical explanations. They seek clarity in everything, and are therefore driven to build knowledge. They are the "absent-minded professors", who highly value intelligence and the ability to apply logic to theories to find solutions. They typically are so strongly driven to turn problems into logical explanations, that they live much of their lives within their own heads, and may not place as much importance or value on the external world. Their natural drive to turn theories into concrete understanding may turn into a feeling of personal responsibility to solve theoretical problems, and help society move towards a higher understanding.
 
INTPs value knowledge above all else. Their minds are constantly working to generate new theories, or to prove or disprove existing theories. They approach problems and theories with enthusiasm and skepticism, ignoring existing rules and opinions and defining their own approach to the resolution. They seek patterns and logical explanations for anything that interests them. They're usually extremely bright, and able to be objectively critical in their analysis. They love new ideas, and become very excited over abstractions and theories. They love to discuss these concepts with others. They may seem "dreamy" and distant to others, because they spend a lot of time inside their minds musing over theories. They hate to work on routine things - they would much prefer to build complex theoretical solutions, and leave the implementation of the system to others. They are intensely interested in theory, and will put forth tremendous amounts of time and energy into finding a solution to a problem with has piqued their interest.
 
INTPs do not like to lead or control people. They're very tolerant and flexible in most situations, unless one of their firmly held beliefs has been violated or challenged, in which case they may take a very rigid stance. The INTP is likely to be very shy when it comes to meeting new people. On the other hand, the INTP is very self-confident and gregarious around people they know well, or when discussing theories which they fully understand.
The INTP has no understanding or value for decisions made on the basis of personal subjectivity or feelings. They strive constantly to achieve logical conclusions to problems, and don't understand the importance or relevance of applying subjective emotional considerations to decisions. For this reason, INTPs are usually not in-tune with how people are feeling, and are not naturally well-equiped to meet the emotional needs of others.
 
The INTP may have a problem with self-aggrandizement and social rebellion, which will interfere with their creative potential. Since their Feeling side is their least developed trait, the INTP may have difficulty giving the warmth and support that is sometimes necessary in intimate relationships. If the INTP doesn't realize the value of attending to other people's feelings, she may become overly critical and sarcastic with others. If the INTP is not able to find a place for themself which supports the use of their strongest abilities, they may become generally negative and cynical. If the INTP has not developed their Sensing side sufficiently, they may become unaware of their environment, and exhibit weakness in performing maintenance-type tasks, such as bill-paying and dressing appropriately.
 
For the INTP, it is extremely important that ideas and facts are expressed correctly and succinctly. They are likely to express themselves in what they believe to be absolute truths. Sometimes, their well thought-out understanding of an idea is not easily understandable by others, but the INTP is not naturally likely to tailor the truth so as to explain it in an understandable way to others. The INTP may be prone to abandoning a project once they have figured it out, moving on to the next thing. It's important that the INTP place importance on expressing their developed theories in understandable ways. In the end, an amazing discovery means nothing if you are the only person who understands it.
 
The INTP is usually very independent, unconventional, and original. They are not likely to place much value on traditional goals such as popularity and security. They usually have complex characters, and may tend to be restless and temperamental. They are strongly ingenious, and have unconventional thought patterns which allows them to analyze ideas in new ways. Consequently, a lot of scientific breakthroughs in the world have been made by the INTP.
 
The INTP is at her best when she can work on her theories independently. When given an environment which supports her creative genius and possible eccentricity, the INTP can accomplish truly remarkable things. These are the pioneers of new thoughts in our society.